Warning...language ahead that is not for the faint of heart. I like F-bombs. They like me. It's probably the only 50-50 give and take relationship I have with anything.
I'm fucking exhausted. Maybe because it's Monday (and I hate Mondays with a damn passion), or maybe it's because I really am hitting my wall. But damnit, I'm fucking tired. TIRED. Tired of people thinking that I have it so easy, because I'm a "Work at Home Mom". You know what WAHM really means? You're busting your ass day in and day out to balance a home, preschooler, and a business that is essentially being rebuilt from the ground up every few years. (and I'm in month 3 of the rebuilding process. Bear in mind, it took me 2 years to even get a footing last time.)
Wanna know what my average day is like? Sleep like shit. Get up a million times with dogs and/or child in the night. Wake up really early. Stumble to coffee pots (yes, we have 2) and hope that something comes out of them that can help me shake off the "wanna go back to bed" feeling. Listen to the kid whine. Listen to the dog whine. Respond to about 20 work emails, while kid is whining because she, too, is tired. Get the kid set up with a TV show and some breakfast while I (GASP) check out Facebook and check in on my message board for 10 minutes. Breakfast is over, so I clean up the syrup that is all over the floor, table, dog and kid. Oatmeal is a bitch to get out of dog fur. It's now about 9:30.
Play with the kid. Kid gets tired of me, so she goes and does something alone. Great, now I have time to do some marketing, or maybe client work. Kid gets bored of being alone, so we read/color/do school stuff. Or alternately get out of the house for an educational field trip. Kid starts whining again, so we go back home. Kid refuses to eat lunch and throws it ON the dog. AGAIN. Somewhere in here, I need to find time to work in some professional development. It's now noon.
Kid is tired, so she's vegging on the couch watching something on Nick Jr. while I pick up more messes. Phone has rung about 10 times by now. I have an urgent project to work on, so I sneak in 30 minutes while she becomes a turnip on the couch. Shit, I realize I haven't showered yet. Oh well. Keep working. Kid gets whiny, AGAIN. Give her milk and turn on a movie while she drifts off to nap. Hopefully. She naps about 60% of the time. Maybe for an hour or two. Which is my chance to shower, put sweatpants back on, deal with the dogs, and get about 5 minutes into another work issue before she wakes up. Kid wants to know about dinosaurs. I don't know a damn thing about dinosaurs. Google. It's now about 4:30.
Fuck, what's for dinner? Have I eaten today? No, but there are about 3-4 coffee cups littered across my desk. Damnit, kid threw her dolls and their shoes everywhere, and the dogs are now chewing on them. She wants a lollipop. The doorbell rings, its UPS. Remember that I have a shipment that HAS to go out today, and pick up is in about 15 minutes. SHIT. Urgent client email coming into the cellphone. Batteries die in kid's favorite toy. Change batteries. Kid sets up camp in my office where we practice writing her letters. I blog, before I lose my sanity. Whether for work or play. Floor needs to be mopped, but the damn mop does a shitty job. It can wait for tomorrow. DAMNIT. I still haven't defrosted anything for dinner. It's now about 6:30.
Husband comes home, drops his gear and disappears into my office. I get frustrated because it's not really MY office any more. Office accumulates more shit as the kid drags her entire bedroom in. Dinner still isn't started. Guess we're eating out of a box. I'm a shitty cook anyway. Eat. Kid needs a bath. I need to place an order for a client ASAP. I have a fucking headache. Need to do laundry so kid has clean underwear and socks for tomorrow. Wait, do I have clean underwear and socks? Email a client about a meeting. Email another client about their product. Snuggle my dog, because we both need it. Finally get the kid in the tub. Let her play while I squeak in some more marketing stuff. It's now about 9:30.
Kid fights us about bedtime. Either I lay down with her and risk falling asleep with undone tasks on my list, or I let her play with her iXL until she passes out. More work. Then bed. I lay in bed for at least an hour trying to fall asleep. Then the dog wakes me up to go outside. Come back to bed. Kid gets in bed with us, then proceeds to lie sideways pushing me out. I get up and sleep with my 100 lb dog in her bed. Sleep like shit. It's now about 2:30 a.m.
Working from home isn't nearly the cakewalk anyone thinks it is. At least if my rugrat was in preschool, her messes through the day wouldn't be my problem. The constant interruptions wouldn't mean I have to stop mid-email or tell a client I have to call them back later. I would never run out of milk/frozen waffles/beer/fruit snacks. (Diet essentials. At least I am never, ever, ever out of coffee. Thank you, Amazon.) My home rarely is "perfect". I hate clutter and chaos, but I've learned that some is just unavoidable. If you visit my home, most likely there will be dog hair on the couch and milk rings on the coffee table. I'm currently seeking a method to remove Bendaroo wax from the TV screen. Suggestions appreciated in the comments, but please keep your "time management" techniques & parenting suggestions to yourself, especially if you don't have kids. Thanks.
Dear Monday, F YOU, TOO!
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