Vanity and Ego Stroking

I'll admit, sometimes I am a bit vain.  But what's wrong with wanting to look decent every once in a while?  OK, so my wardrobe needs a LOT of help, but sometimes, I can rock it.  And even if I look like shit to everyone else, as long as I feel like a million bucks - that is all that really matters.  Today, I was having one of those good days.  The hair flipped and waved just right, I got my nails done, and I'm generally just feeling good about me.  Sure, there are probably about 10 lbs I could lose, but overall, that's not a terrible place to be.

And then tonight I got a wonderful email from a client.  I nearly cried, she was so incredibly sweet and genuine.  It is so rewarding to be appreciated for something you put your heart and soul and energy into.  Especially when it is a volunteer project.  I am sure my client has no idea how much I needed that right now, but I did.  And it is an amazing feeling.  When most days I wonder why I still participate in this particular organization, today I knew WHY without a doubt.

Here's hoping that tomorrow is just as fulfilling.

Confessions of a Hoarder

We've all seen the shows on television.  The woman with 94 cats that have taken over her house. The man who hasn't thrown away a single thing in 30 years.  Houses so disgusting and full of junk and filth, they should be burned to the ground, except that the fumes would probably kill everything in a 30 mile radius.  I admit that every time there is a marathon on of ANY hoarding show, I can't turn it off.  It's a trainwreck I can't turn away from, and it makes me feel ever so slightly better about myself.

But I have a confession of my own: I am a Scentsy hoarder.  That deliciously fragrant wax that melts and fills my home with wonderful goodness....I can't get enough.  I know it's meant for "consumption", but there are times I find myself rationing it, as if it were illegal and I needed just enough to get my fix.  And with the exception of the handful of retired bars, there is always opportunity to get more.  It's cheap, too.  So what's my problem?

I have a box of approximately 50 bars and several bricks tucked away in a cupboard.  When the kid drags it out, she likes to stack the bars to build a "castle", and I find this extremely unsettling.  Why? I don't know.  But don't touch my "sniffers".  In every way, I appear to be a pretty regular gal.  I have a regular house, that is actually probably much less "lived in" than most.  I do need new furniture, but not until after the kid is a few years older.  I don't have phonebooks stacked on the front porch.  The grass isn't too long.  I generally have my shit together.  But for this one little problem.

Hmmm, suppose it could be worse.

Random Parenting Vent

Yes, I'm gonna bitch again.  If you don't have kids, don't feel obligated to read any further until you do have offspring.  Unless you've offered me an opinion on my parenting.  Then read on, and be warned.

Oh, and at some point, I'll stop bitching so much.  I hope.

So, the kid is going to be starting preschool next month.  Thank gawd.  I love the kid, and I love my time with her, but damnit if I don't need a break once in a while so I can work or shower without a damn audience.  And what the EFF is wrong with needing a break?  I'm freakin' mother of the year, and I know it.  And I'm better when I can get breaks here and there, especially when my husband goes on vacation for a year at a time for work.  (If you get my drift.)  I'm trying to run a business, homeschool the kid, and keep this house from falling into a cesspool of ick of our own making.

I belong to a few mothers' groups online.  And a few remarks lately have pissed me right off.  All the way from other moms who put their kids in preschool getting criticized, to the "I don't NEED a break from my kids." or "My kids just go to get social interaction with other kids." or "We just do it so that she gets a chance to do fun artwork."  Well aren't you fucking Mother Universe 2011?  Needing a break once in a while is not a bad thing.  I'm tired of people making it out to be.  I feel sorry for people whose only definition of themselves is MOM.  What kind of favor are you doing your kids?

Oh, and don't get me started on the whole "homeschooling is bad, how will the kid learn to be social???" Um, my kid is more social than pretty much ALL of her peers and most adults.  I do NOT want her socialized....in other words, wearing skimpy ass skirts, showing off her butt cheeks and having sex in an alley at the age of 12 like a lot of other kids these days.  I do not feel like being a grandmother in my 40s (or 50s, for that matter. Dear Kid, keep your pants on. Love, Mom.)  Also, I like the fact that my 2.5 year old speaks like an adult, TO ADULTS and kids alike.  She is (the majority of the time) respectful, well mannered, and polite.  And she even knows what sharing is!!!!!  GASP!

Anyway, that's all for now.  I'm off to dust my plaques from years 2008, 2009, and 2010.  I'm also using my first preschool-break for mommy day to write my acceptance speech for AWESOME KICKASS MOTHER OF THE YEAR WHO CAN ROUNDHOUSE CHUCK NORRIS' FACE IN .02 MILLISECONDS 2011.

Where has the Glamour gone?

I just watched a new Chrysler commercial asking that question.  Being a girl who basically owes her family history to Chrysler....I thought it might be a question worth pondering.  (But at heart, I'm a foreign car girl. Just for the record.)

So....what happened to the glamour?  That life where we were invincible and gorgeous.  The untouchables.  Life was one unending soiree.  We were fabulous, fun, flirty.  Nothing slowed us down.  We were our own personal idols.

Why mourn the loss of that person/time?  Is it/they really gone?  No.  Just changed.  And why shouldn't we embrace that change?  What's wrong with who we are now? Not a damn thing.  I'd like to think now we are wiser, well-informed, more experienced.  Can you imagine if the people we were never grew, aged, matured, learned?  Change is necessary, and not unglamorous.